AI Can Better Support Working Parents: Reflections on the Current State of Play.
Balancing full-time work and parenthood is really, really hard. Now, I don’t think that comes as a surprise to anyone! Yet, AI – if used responsibly – could help working parents meet day-to-day deliverables without burning the candle on both ends.
In this mini content series, I’ll break down some of the ways that AI could theoretically and practically help alleviate the issue of lower wellbeing amongst working parents, when compared to non-parents, and improve work-life balance for both groups.
The current state of play
Our world has changed beyond recognition in the last twenty years. Like many people, thirteen years ago, I was working in London and going into the office every day a week as an actuary. Back then, the option to work from home wasn’t even on the table.
That’s a world away from what I did until recently: balancing venture building with academic research in Computer Science (CS) and writing on AI ethics.
In the last ten years alone, we’ve seen automation advance, new social media platforms fundamentally change the way we absorb news, and perhaps even rewrite how we relate to each other altogether. If you’d have told a younger me what I did now for a living – I’d never have believed you.
Through all of the changes, work is (of course) a constant in our lives. For many, it’s a scaffold upon which we build our identity, cultivate purpose, and hope to leave our mark on the world.
For others, it represents a more fundamental role – a necessary means to make ends meet and something that is often in very short supply. In the beautiful towns in the Italian Alps, work is often seasonal – designed around tourism and the skiing season. Summers here are notoriously difficult. In between the two ends of the spectrum, what remains universally true is this: we have to dedicate a significant portion of our lives to some form of labor. Reflecting on my own journey as a tech entrepreneur, I've noticed a paradoxical trend: rather than decreasing the long hours, stress, and intensity, these often mount over time, posing a relentless challenge to our ideals of progress and work-life harmony.
So, what role should work play in society?
All Work, No Play? Far From It.
At its best, work is more than a transactional activity where we share our sacred time in exchange for money. Work can also:
Create meaning. I recall a workshop during my university days, where the speaker distilled career choice into three questions: What ignites your passion? What aligns with your skills? How can your work serve the world? This advice shaped my perspective – meaningful work is not just about personal fulfillment. To marry your career with a goal that leaves a constructive impact on society, whether that be teaching, improving water security or creating safer autonomous cars, is about contributing to something larger than ourselves.
Support quality of life. As well as the monthly paycheck, work can amplify life’s pleasures – from entertainment to education, health to socialising. I’ve come to realise that when you strike the right balance in your work sphere, you can also feel a stronger sense of community and contentment in your personal life. Throughout my career, the colleagues who once shared my workspace have turned into lifelong friends, enriching my life far beyond the confines of the office. This expanding network has been invaluable for intellectual growth, broadening my horizons to include new ideas, cultures, and perspectives. Such connections underscore how deeply meaningful work can resonate, not only enriching your own life but also extending its benefits to the community around you. An example of this is how increased earnings have empowered me to extend financial support to those in need, further amplifying the positive impact of my professional journey.
Building a legacy. Each day spent working lays another brick in the edifice of what we will leave behind. This encompasses the richness of our relationships, our stewardship of the environment, and the legacy we pass on to those who follow. This principle holds a special place in my heart, guiding my endeavors in AI ethics and permeating other facets of my life. Observing instances of inhumane or misinformed practices in AI development, my concern primarily turns toward the world my children will inherit. It makes me think deeply: what kind of professional landscape are we crafting for the next generation?
The Work-Life Imbalance
As vital as work is, its current structure is not without its challenges. My own journey through parenthood, academia and entrepreneurship has shown me this – and sometimes, incredibly viscerally!
My wife and I had our children when we were in our mid-twenties – and as an entrepreneur, balancing parenthood with founder responsibilities has brought its own set of challenges. At times, the financial pressure has led me to leave in search of more stable income, trading off what I genuinely wanted to do.
During my time at Tesla, in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, I realized that there were just three people in a team of twenty that had children. When we went into lockdown and its aftermath, when schools kept opening and closing at an unpredictable schedule, I needed to home school my kids full-time, and my productivity took a massive hit. It was an incredible frustration seeing everyone going at the speed of light while I was working at a slower pace. And, I have to say: nobody really sympathized with the situation. Most didn’t even care about what my condition was at home. This experience wasn’t unique to me or to Tesla; it's a systemic issue in our corporate culture, where output often overshadows personal circumstances.
The corporate environment rewards output and inadvertently (or willingly?) blocks those with responsibilities outside of work from advancing as quickly.
And finally, while studying for a Ph.D., I struggled to allocate time to publish as many publications as other students without young families. My wife, and generally any woman in the sciences, can relate to the same academic struggles.
All of this is to say the current work system is not built for parents, those with caring responsibilities, or anyone with a rich life outside of work (social circles, friends, hobbies, serving communities, and so on).
Adapting to the Challenge
That being said, I did find a few ways to manage the challenge, but boy, am I exhausted! I learned how to:
Optimize my time: I said no more to meetings where I am not contributing directly and ruthlessly prioritized the tasks that would bring the most value – I built a very efficient prioritization system, which I hope to share in a future article.
Embrace remote work: While freelancing, consulting, and working on my Ph.D. remotely across multiple time zones, I maximized my potential to make money and support the family at different times of the day and focused on building equity. I worked mainly with venture builders, makers, and developers. And at the same time, I am involved in academic research, which is a big passion of mine.
Accept that weekends were not rest days: This is part of embracing parenthood. I realized that weekends were more demanding than weekdays with the kids. Every interaction with them provides opportunities to learn high-stakes negotiation and many teachable moments. It forced me to keep up with my energy levels as there was no time to sit and relax.
What Research Tells Us
The research supports this. The key takeaways are that:
Self-employed individuals are most likely to feel work-family conflict.1
Working parents often manage to exert more control over their work and family lives, suggesting employers can do more to facilitate better work-life conditions for parents.2
Dual-income families face unique challenges,3 and the stressors may vary between mothers and fathers.4
Imagining a Different Future of Work
Standing at the start of the AI revolution, we must ask: What kind of future do we want to build? How do we harness AI to create a workplace that values economic output, personal growth, societal contribution, and family well-being?
In the next post, I’ll discuss my experience with automation, AI, efficiencies, and familial responsibilities. I firmly believe the current thinking about AI, automation, and regulation is not addressing the elephant in the room: what is the future of work we want to build? Are we okay with monopolistic tech companies sweeping away economic value while leaving everyone else fighting for meager incomes and meager lives?
Advancements in AI and automation, when applied adequately, morally, could help us recommit to valuing not just the economic but also all the human dimensions of work – from personal growth, societal contribution and happier family lives.
The future of work is not just about what we do. It’s also about who we become in the process (and progress).
Stay tuned for part two, where I'll run a deep dive into how automation, AI, and equitable workplace practices can shape a more balanced future for working parents – or any individuals who want to have richer and busier lives outside of work!
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/229732044_Type_of_Employment_Work-Family_Conflict_and_Well-Being_A_Comparative_Study#:~:text=For%20example%2C%20in%20one%20study,and%20work%20than%20the
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J022v09n03_05
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/340096347_Analysis_of_the_Pros_and_Cons_of_Dual-Income_Families#:~:text=Dual,for%20both%20spouses%20working
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5222535/#:~:text=Studies%20may%20not%20consistently%20find,Thus%2C%20policies%20that